How to be Annoying at Work
By One2One Magazine
Thursday,July 14, 2011
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Categories:Jokes
Tags:Dating Jokes
- Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you’re waiting for your document.
- Insist that your e-mail address be “zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com”
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them to sign a waiver.
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
- Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about the direction of one of your company’s products. Forward the e-mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
- Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.)
- Name all your pens and insist that meetings can’t begin until they’re all present.
- Come to work in your pajamas.
- Put a picture of your mother on your business card.
- Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.)
- Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. “That’s a good point Sparky.” “No, I’m sorry. I’m going to have to disagree with you there, Chachi.”
- Suggest that beer be put in the soda machine.
- Include a piece of your children’s artwork as a cover page for all reports that you write. (If you don’t have children, draw stick figures yourself.)
- Schedule meetings for 4:14 pm.
- Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
- Agree to organize the company Christmas party. Hold it at McDonald’s Playland. Charge everyone $15 each.
- Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you’re doing. For example “If anyone needs me I’ll be in the bathroom.”
- No matter what anyone asks you, reply “Okay.”
- Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it “IN.”
- Plant a hedge around your cubicle.
- Put your headphones on whenever the boss comes into the office. Talk in a loud voice. Remove your headphones when he or she leaves.
- Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
- Compose all your e-mail in rhyming couplets.
- Install a set of buttons and lights in the arm of your chair. Talk into your day timer.
- Organize a carpool. Go to pick everyone up in a taxi.
- Hang mistletoe over your desk.
- Bring in dishes that you tried to cook but didn’t turn out quite right as special treats for your co-workers.
- While sitting at your desk, pretend you are “Madge” and soak your fingers in “Palmolive”.
- Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.
- Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and Danny Partridge. Try to pass them off as your children.
- Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
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